Battlefield

In light of recent events, I've developed a profound belief that life is not only unfair, but unjust. For the grand majority of my years I've felt like there are reasons for everything that happens; reasons why bad things happen to good people, or why horrific acts of violence against humanity are allowed to continue. I am sympathetic to the human condition. I am sympathetic to the fact that essentially we are creatures that struggle to commit acts of goodness daily. Many out there, fully aware of evil or unjust acts that they are about to commit, commit them anyways, and then lament the fact that they gave in to their so-called evil ways. We are flawed, I understand. We struggle to find within ourselves reasons to commit acts of goodness.

There are no reasons and I also fail to believe that there is a grand plan. It is a simply a matter of free will and our continuous descent into the proverbial rat-hole. Blame parental guidance, blame society, blame mental illnesses. Those are the popular ones amidst the laundry list of excuses we tend to come up with daily. I am no angel by any means, nor do I pretend to be. I am who I am, a flawed individual who struggles daily to commit acts of goodness. Some may say I need to pray more often, others may say I need Jesus in my life. Those are the same excuses given to the rapists, the sex offenders, the evil doers of our world, who wake up every morning with one thought and one thought only; I will give my all to do as much harm and commit as many horrific acts as possible, simply because I can and am inclined to do so.

A friend of a friend is dying from cancer, she has but days left, and will leave behind two young children. She is someone I have never met. Having children of my own, my thoughts immediately gravitate towards their well being. I feel sick about it. Her despair is my despair, because I am a parent, because I am human. Because we are connected. It is not fair. It is not just. Is it then all a crap shoot? Is it a random generator of alternative endings for anyone and everyone?

The suffering, the horrific acts we commit towards one another, the early demise of some for no apparent reason. Where does this all lead?  How can we as humans be expected to better our condition, when all around us despair and lament take center stage?

How deep does the rat-hole go?  We simply continue to descend into sub-human levels. We are losing our humanity. We are losing our ability to simply help our neighbor. We are losing ourselves and devolving. Young and old alike, we suffer, some too young, from one day to the next it is all lost. We are losing the war.