I tend to think that many of the events that occur during our lives are a product of the culmination of our decisions or actions- whether we make them or fail to do so. Something that happens 5 months down the line is the trickle-effect of some thought that materialized or didn't. It is an interesting concept to think that whatever I read today or whomever I speak to, will ultimately have some influence over some random event in the future. This event will somehow impact me or those close to me in some odd way.
No, not karma. Just little fluctuations in the air, in thoughts, in dreams, that somehow manifest themselves in rather strange circumstances. It's like watching a puppet show. You do not see who pulls the strings, you just know someone is pulling them.
I read a lot, yet few are the books that stay with me. Few are the ones that make such an impression that years down the line I can literally smell what the air smelled liked when I read that particular book. I remember whom I loved and whom I didn't. What I drank, perhaps some rum, or some gin. Maybe a beer. Which makes sense in the realm of things, as we cannot recall the millions of thoughts, actions or decisions made, unless these resonate. The proverbial sound and the fury.
Spent some time today reading past e-mails, and I began detailing in my head what led to those e-mails. What was the series of events that culminated in the writing of that particular e-mail. There were certainly some highlights, some moments where I clearly knew the why. Yet, not every step resonated, and as I backtracked, I lost my way. Into the great void where the majority of our decisions, actions or thoughts go. Some far off place filled with nightmarish creatures and most of my missing socks.
So is life. Fluctuations in heartbeats, in voices, in emotions, in temperament. Things resonate, others don't. Things fall apart, others remain. Convergent forces meet, embrace, fuse and ultimately coalesce into something..
I wonder why I dropped those eggs... I wonder if they too are in the void.
What always makes me stop and think is realizing your random actions/words can impact someone else's decisions, actions, perspective and you have no idea. Stranger still when you find out years later. Never know what chain reaction will occur as a result of the randomest insignificant action.
ReplyDeleteI agree...I truely believe that we affect others' lives and that our past creates who we are today. I try to never regret anything...because good or bad, everthing, every decision, every person, every event, whether positive or negative has helped shape who I am today, and, for the most part, I'm ok with that. :)
ReplyDeleteI also don't believe in regrets. Every nick, bruise or scratch represents a lesson, good or bad, that has helped mold me, and more importantly, has pushed me ahead of the pack - the pack of those that stand around moping about the past and their regrets. Life is funny. Regret is not part of my vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteA life without regrets is a life not worth living in my opinion. I'm sure someone MUCH wiser than I said that long before me. Experiences mold a person, good & bad. We all do things we wish we didn't do. What matters is how you react after the fact. Everyone gets beat up. Getting up afterwards is what matters, especially after beating yourself up.
ReplyDeleteLife is a learning experience, and there is no point dwelling on anything. The past is gone, dead, buried like everyone before us. What matters is right now. Regret is often defined as sadness, and sometimes sadness cannot be helped. We have all been sad at some stage in our lives, but as I said before it matters with how you deal with that sadness.
We are all friends. We share a common place right now, whether we know it or accept it.