Shadows and Footsteps

I’ve always found it fascinating when life ‘s path puts you up close and personal with others’ struggles and desperations , in ways you never thought could happen.
Case in point, I spoke to an older gentleman yesterday during a cookout – a man whom I had previously been introduced to. All I knew of him was that he was seeing the mother of a friend of mine on a semi-regular basis.

As typical men do when faced with cool end of summer breezes, we chatted amidst the noise from the crowd, and we exchanged your usual run of the mill questions; how many children, where do you live, where are you from, and so on. This was one of those times where his answers to those questions became a stage upon themselves; a canvas of emotions subtlety registering grief and loneliness.

Since I learned that he was from Greece, I asked him if he ever went back and if he had family there. With his head down and his eyes looking at the grass, he responded by saying that he still had some cousins and aunts there, but that his wife’s family still lived there, and that ever since she passed away, he made it a point to stay in touch. It wasn’t the response as much as the overwhelming feeling of grief felt in the air, amidst the breeze.

Perhaps it was a question too close to his heart, this man I barely knew from a crab apple on a nearby tree. But the force of that emotion nearly knocked me to the ground. This soft-spoken man from Greece conveyed unexpected emotions to a complete stranger, as if looking for a sympathetic ear.

As the questions continued, he spoke of his children and where they lived. I may never forget the way he delivered a response to my final question. “Where do you live?” I asked.. “I live in Methuen……..alone…” It was in this answer as he looked towards uncertain skies, that I then understood the calamity in his soul. And I realized I knew everything I needed to know about this man in the mere minutes we spoke. Loneliness. A loving wife now deceased. A life of waking up to no one in the room, but his own shadow and footsteps. A man who sought for something to fill the void.

I may never know why this struck me as it did; one of those inexplicable events perhaps. We are all seekers in one way or another.

As I spotted him later in the day, I saw him caress my friend’s mother, lovingly. Long live romance. May love find him once again.